


Uncle Sibeal

by bothways



Series: Dutiful Sons [5]
Category: Boondock Saints (Movies)
Genre: Daddy Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Religious Guilt, Religious Imagery & Symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-01-09 08:47:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12272970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bothways/pseuds/bothways
Summary: The Saints have a visit from Uncle Sibeal who is determined to get them further help from the powers that be in the catholic church. He also has a side-mission to improve Connor and Noah's relationship.





	1. Uncle Sibeal comes to visit

Noah cursed quietly as he burned his hand on the frying pan he was using to crisp up the bubble n squeak and fry the sausages for breakfast. Murphy looked over from making the tea for both of them, his second fag of the day hanging out of his mouth looking like it was dangerously close to spilling ash in the cups he was filling. It was a luxury staying in quite a well-furnished flat as opposed to the usual dingy motel and Noah thought he might enjoy living in Baltimore for a bit. Having a proper kitchen had however led him to a discovery about his sons, neither of them could really cook at all. Apparently all the places they had stayed in in Boston had not had gas or sometimes even running water and, whilst in Ireland they lived with Annabelle and she hadn't really encouraged them to learn much beyond toast, too busy learning umpteen languages and marksmanship not to mention going to church.

He had decided to use this time in the morning to teach Murphy some basics. The two of them always awoke at least an hour, sometimes two before Connor. Not that Connor particularly liked long lie-ins it was just that Noah's bodyclock still worked on prison-time (wake up at Hoag was about 5am) and Murphy was so full of nervous energy that he never seemed to need much sleep so the two of them could often be found up early doors on their own. At first it had felt awkward as Murphy was clearly the more openly hostile of the two young men towards him. In the early days he had seemed determined to goad Noah into violence; little did he realise that Noah had spent the last 25 years with young men determined to prove something to him or trying to goad him, trying to improve their hard reputations by taking on Il Duce. Once Murphy had realised that his initial plan was unlikely to work he obviously labelled Noah as a "pussy" and mostly ignored him at least up until the vision from God after which he was polite if not relaxed and friendly. 

Noah couldn't exactly pinpoint the turning point in his personal relationship with Murphy but he was sure this time together in the morning had helped. Murphy seemed to enjoy being given tasks to do, to keep his hands busy - he had a definite practical bent; however, he was fiercely stubborn and tended to resist any"jobs" given to him by Connor just on principle. With the hostility coming off of Murphy in waves when they first met Noah hadn't even considered asking him to do anything. However, as Murphy asserted his God-driven conviction to follow Noah in their bloody quest, Noah had slowly realised that Murphy would hardly be able to refuse to carry out any tasks that Noah designated him to do even if they had nothing technically to do with their mission. He had started off with small requests such as passing the sugar or putting the kettle on, Murphy had looked slightly irritated but complied. He'd moved on from there to getting Murphy to assist him with cleaning his many guns, waxing his slightly old-fashioned leather vests and exercising with him to keep fit. It was natural now that they had a kitchen he would cook rather than eat takeaway and that Murphy would help him with this.

"That's a load of drisheen you're cooking there son." He said as Murphy seemed to cut up the entirety of the black pudding and put it in the frying pan. The young man looked up with a smirk, fag hanging out of the side of his mouth.  
"Aye, its Connor's favourite, me ma used to cook it for him and I don't think he's had it for years. He'll probably just eat a plateful of drisheen and nuthin else." They both froze as a loud knock sounded on the apartment door. Noah dropped straight to his knees, pulling Murphy with him and his gun out from his shirt at the same time. Murphy reached for his gun which was on the table, loaded and ready as always. Noah peered out of the kitchen window but it didn't look as if the building was surrounded.

"Get yer brother and get round the back, I'll see who it is." He whispered tersely. Then a well-known, beloved voice came through the door. "Noah, Noah its me. Are you in there?" He sighed in relief.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Sibeal had only been in the flat for about 25 minutes, just time for a quick cup of tea when Connor asked if the priest would bless them. Sibeal nodded and stood up. The boys both simultaneously fell to their knees and bowed their heads with their hands open and on their knees, ready to receive a blessing; it was a position of complete submission. It didn't seem to phase Sibeal, it was as if he had been expecting it, as if it might be a regular occurrence when they got together. Noah, however, felt again this wonder at his boys and their faith. It wasn't as if he didn't have a deep faith, he did and always had and this faith had sustained him in hell for 25 years. However, it was unusual to see two such young confident men so open about their need for the Lord, so ready to kneel and submit to his presence whenever and wherever they felt required it. Sibeal had told him many times over the years that Annabelle had brought them up strictly, both in terms of religion and generally; he had sensed that Sibeal disapproved more than a little of Annabelle's brand of catholicism but neither of them had really been in a position to do much about it at the time.

"Thank you, Father" Connor stood and answered the blessing for both of them. "Can we have some of that drisheen now, da?" He was smiling again and this time it met his eyes. He was clearly thrilled to see Sibeal and that warmth was even extending to his father.

"Aye, well Murphy cooked it all so you'd better ask him." Connor looked slightly alarmed. 

"Ye cooked it Murph? Are you sure that was wise, I'm sure its possible to burn drisheen you know."

"Just for that you ain't getting any. Would you like some breakfast, Father?"

"No thanks Murph, I had some at the airport. Just another cuppa would be grand."

"Da?"

"Aye, I'll have bacon n eggs n' some toast son. You can argue over the black pudding between yerselves." 

Noah turned away from their affectionate bickering and gave his full attention to his brother who was looking a little tired.

"Its grand to see you brother but I must confess I wasn't expecting you just yet."

"Aye well it seemed like an opportune moment. Knew you were in Baltimore and this week Cardinal O'Connor is visiting with one of the local bishops. Thought it might be a good chance to get our cause before them. More support from the establishment of the US catholic church would help us a lot. Might need your help with that but we can talk about it later." Noah nodded. Sibeal continued in a quieter tone making it obvious that the conversation was intended just for the two of them . "I also had a chat with Connor the other week and it sounds like you are working hard and didn't think it would hurt any of you to have someone else to talk to about it rather than just each other."

"You might be right at that brother."

"How are you Noah?"

"Grand. Back to work, my boys at my side, certain amount of freedom at least as much as I need, what could be better?"

"Well yer certainly looking a lot fitter than when I saw you in the Hoag."

"You wouldn't be wrong there."

Sibeal reached over the table for Noah's wrists. "Forgive me brother." he turned Noah's hands and bared his wrists where the marks of shackles worn for long years were still apparent. Slightly overcome with emotion, Sibeal lifted his brothers wrists and kissed them gently. "Every minute ye were there, I was with you in my heart. Its been hard to stand in that church and proclaim my faith knowing that it was my God that wanted you separated from your family and kept in a tiny cage in that hellhole." He paused and looked at the table clearly trying to contain himself. " It was only your continued faith that sustained me during that time. Every time I came to visit you seemed so serene despite new scars and the every increasing sets of manacles they made you wear just to take confession."

Noah had known this conversation was coming although he hadn't expected it to come so soon after his brother's arrival. He had known and seen the guilt Sibeal had carried about him through the years and had loved him for it. He tended to avoid speaking about emotions if possible; found it easier to live in the here and now but he could tell Sibeal needed something from him and Sibeal had done so much for him over the years.

"Your visits were the only thing that sustained me brother - well that and knowing that the boys were safe and fed, which was down to you as well. I knew you were there with me. Its been a source of constant guilt that my decisions hurt not just me but you, Annabelle and the boys. I always thanked God that Ma and Da were dead and didn't have to live through it. But we don't get to question his will we simply have to do our best to live with it and know that he loves us and never gives us more than we can handle."

"Think you should have been the priest lad and not me."

"Nah, you suit the outfit better than me." As he said this his two sons came to the table, shoving each other slightly and picking at each other's plates. As suspected Connor had the lion's share of the black pudding. Murphy also brought over a cup of tea for Sibeal and another plate for Noah.

"You gonna carry on with this then are you Murph? Being the cook of the family? Think I could live with that, you at home waiting on me hand and foot whilst I go out and do the necessary."

"Fuck off Connor."

"Well that's not an attractive feminine attitude you've got there Murph. Reckon it'll sour your cooking."

"You carry on, you'll be wearing my cooking."

Noah coughed and the banter stopped as all of the men put their hands together for Noah's short grace over the food.

"How long are you staying, Father?" Murphy asked after he had inhaled the first half of his plate.

"Just a couple of days lad. I have a friend that I would like you three to meet. See if we can persuade him to the cause."


	2. Two taciturn men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sibeal talks to Connor about Noah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an opportunity for me to trial writing in the first person. I wrote from Sibeal's perspective. A bit like everything I have written it only makes sense if you have read all parts of the Dutiful Sons series.

You shouldn't have favourites, I know that but this boy had always been mine and I couldn't have loved him more had he been my own flesh and blood. I loved his brother too of course but everyone loved Murphy (apart from maybe his mother) whereas Connor was more aloof and didn't form close connections easily. Perhaps it was the way that he reminded me of his father, more serious than his outer persona suggested, prone to taking on responsibility for everyone else in the world. I had watched this one struggle as a young boy as he tried to shield first his brother and then his mother from harm in a world that seemed so full of evil. Now he was all grown-up into a good man who was determined to shield others as well in his God-given quest to rid the world of evil. Personally I felt that our Lord could not have picked a better instrument for his will than those two boys even though thoughts of their future terrified me, a quick death with a bullet was the best they could expect now.

I was not surprised to hear his story about the paedophile that they let go temporarily in Seattle. I knew that the plight of his victims would affect Connor deeply and I also knew my brother would not allow them to kill men in the Lord's name without making them think through clearly the reasons why their victims were chosen. I knew however that there was something my nephew wasn't telling me about the interactions with paedophile, knowing him something he was protecting me from. 

"What do you mean that you wondered where God was whilst you dealt with this evil man? Are ye questioning your vision from God my son?"

"Not exactly Father, its just some of the methods, some of the things that might be required they seem to be, well to be so far away from what I thought a good man would do, what I think I should do. I don't mind ridding the world of evil but what if I become the evil myself? Il Duce is, well Il Duce is just more accepting of, well, getting the job done at all costs."

"He's your Da Connor. Your Da who never stopped thinking about you and trying to provide for you even whilst he was going through hell hisself. He doesn't deserve to be called Il Duce by you."

"Maybe not Father, but I'm not sure of where we stand yet either. Its not easy to go from 25 years of nothing to, well, to whatever this is, even if Murph does seem to find it easy."

"Are you jealous?"

"Of my brother, no, never. I'm pleased for them, just seems so soon." I gave him a sceptical look, I wondered how long someone would want to wait after having been separated so long and not knowing how long he had left.

"Look, Father, I know what you are going to tell me. I know he's a good man, a god-fearing man."

"When have you ever heard me equate god-fearing with good? You can be good and not at all god-fearing - like your friend Paul Smecker or you can be god-fearing but not at all good, like a few you and I met when you were growing up. Your father is neither, he is a good man who would have been a great father, a kind father but who had to put his duty to God first." Connor looked away, didn't seem to be following me here so I did the unforgiveable.

"He'd have been nothing like Mike Shaughnessy." Connor got up abruptly, kicking the chair back noisily as he moved walking further into the bar. I waited for him, it was a risk but I suspected that he would come back. He did, with a pint for him and a coffee for me.

"Thanks lad."

"What the fuck was that about? You think I ain't worked out that he isn't some pious twat that whacks teenagers for amusement, to make himself feel big, because the provos didn't want him."

"Have you?"

"Of course I have."

"Good. Well then, we got nothing to worry about."

"No we ain't." He necked his pint and looked considerably less happy than when we started this conversation.

"For what its worth son, I think the methods you feel comfortable with employing for your mission is your decision and yours alone and, in this case, you may even take a different view to Murphy and that's ok. You have to pray for guidance on how far to go. Remember what we talked about before, how my da, yer granda, always said that that little voice some people call a conscience is really God talking to you, you just need to learn to listen. The Lord won't leave you alone, son. The fact that yer questioning this, unsure about what to do when it would be easy to just follow suit especially when dealing with a man like that, shows me how right ye are for this task. 

Connor looked away and I reached out to touch his hand across the table. I was slightly unsure about how he would take that as, close as we were, we rarely touched, he never really touched anyone but Murphy, who he touched all the time. He tolerated me holding him but looked away from my face as I continued. 

"I think your Da's actions are affected by experience as all of ours are. What he may be able to do now, as an older man, is impacted by rotting in the Hoag for 25 years. Doesn't mean he is further from God just perhaps the way God works through him is different. There must have been a reason the Lord let him suffer in the Hoag, good Lord Connor, if you could have seen the conditions."

"Did you see him in Hoag?"

"Aye lad, being a priest you get more access than ordinary people and no one has to know you're related, priests visit their flock in prison all the time."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"He asked me not to. He had some enemies and if you'd tried to find out where he was and tried to visit they would have discovered about his family, used it against him. There also didn't seem much point as it seemed unlikely he was ever coming out at that stage. I guess he wanted to spare you and Murph the experience."

"Jesus Fucking Christ." My boy pulled his hands away from mine and then through his hair before crossing himself and saying a brief Hail Mary. "Did me ma know?"

"Yes but she knew he didn't want her visiting."

"Should have known there was more she was hiding. The church bankrolled us as kids all the time, I worked that out. No way she could have fed us without support. Not when you consider how much she drank. Was that you?"

"No lad, that was yer Da. The church in Ireland always knew what he was doing, supported him. He'd given the church a load of money over the years, presumably from mafiosos. I guess the bit they gave yer ma was his insurance money."

"After everything you all went through you're all back together. Its going to get tougher and tougher over the next months. You are already so well known. I'm worried about all of you. There is no one knows what you and Murph are going through like your father, you could support each other through the next few years or however long its gonna last. Forgive me for saying things you don't want to hear son but I care about all of you and you could be a great comfort for each other. It may be that he can't reach out that well, it may be that some of that falls down to you."

Connor got up abruptly and fetched another pint which he drank halfway down before lighting a cigarette, his eyes on the door of the pub, he started speaking.

"When I was a kid you taught me that I had to honour my mother. I tried to do that the best I could although I wasn't always successful. Whenever she decided that Murph and I had gotten out of hand she'd punish us and, even if I felt it was unjust, I didn't say anything not even when she'd punish Murph cos I knew I had to respect me ma. When she brought that shit into our lives, to keep us in line I didn't say anything then. The first time he beat Murphy up, for fighting in school, I didn't even step in because I knew it was her decision. I'll regret that for the rest of me life. Murph's never said anything, never reproached me once but it was my job to look after him and I failed. Now you're telling me to respect me da. I will because God asks it of me and you ask it of me but you can't blame me for . . . being cautious."

"I don't blame ye lad, I just don't want ye to leave it too late."

"What do ye suggest then Father, a heart to heart over a cup of tea." I wasn't sure if Connor was teasing me or asking for advice but the idea of these two stoic men talking about their feelings was absurd. Noah had to put great effort into expressing his feelings about what he wanted for tea, let alone how he felt about his boy.

"No lad. Noah was never into talking about feelings even as a boy. That's why I'm the priest and he's the saint. It ain't exactly yer strongest suit either, lad." Connor smiled suddenly.

"Well, thank God for Murph then eh father, thank God for Murph."

Aye lad, thank God for yer brother."


	3. Dinner

"Risotto. I'm an Irishman, a man of simple tastes just give me a spud and I'm happy."

"This is simple tastes Conn, its really easy to do and if I buy a bit of chicken and some peas I can feed the 4 of us for a couple of bucks."

Connor' s ears pricked up at that,

"Ya don't say? Budgeting and cooking, what an excellent housewife ya make."

"What a hungry fuckwit you'll make if you carry on."

"Alright bruther, " Connor poked at the risotto mixture with the wooden spoon. "What are you doing here then Murph?"

"You have to let the rice simmer, that means bubble gently, with this bit of liquid in it until the stock is absorbed."

"Stock?"

"Aye Conn stock, its that smelly stuff that ma used to make from chicken bones."

"Yeuch."

"Yeh, but da just makes it with one of these cubes and some boiling water from the kettle. See I made it here and it ain't smelly."

Connor took a sniff. "For sure it doesn't smell as bad as that stuff ma made. But are you sure its gonna work."

"Da says it will."

"Where did he learn to cook?"

"He says a bit from his ma and then in prison."

"Oh for sure, they eat grand in there don't they."

"He says it tastes like shit most of the time cos the prisoners can't cook."

"Guess you'll be a shoe in then for the kitchen once we get there."

"That ain't funny Conn. I'd rather die than end up in there." Murphy added another splash of stock to his risotto and Conner duly poked it with his wooden spoon.

"No, I guess not. Why don't you put it all in?"

"I don't know Conn, Da just says you don't. You have to put it in bit by bit and keep stirring." Connor poked some more with his spoon.

"You scared of prison Murph?"

"Honest Conn?"

"What the fuck, no lie to me Murph I enjoy that."

"I am a bit scared that their gonna put me in a small cell 24 hours a day with only you for company. I'd go mad."

"Ha, Ha funny man. Mebbe I'll beat ya up get myself put in solitary."

"Yeh, fucking try it. Hey you need to stir that eejit. Its gonna be ruined."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

He was sitting there enjoying a cigar and a whisky with his brother. It had been a long time since he had last felt so peaceful. He could smell the cooking in the kitchen and the gentle sounds of his boys arguing amiably as they always did when together. 

Murphy came in carrying plates."Da, Father Sibeal, its ready." Connor came in as well with more plates.

"Father I hope you're ready for this. Murph's cooked a risotto." He almost sounded proud. "Bet that ain't yer normal fare."

"No lad, I don't think Mrs O'Hanlon has ever quite stretched to risotto. Bread n Dripping's still standard fare in my house."

"Mrs O'Hanlon. She still cook for you, Father?"

"She's my housekeeper Murphy yes."

Connor and Murphy exchanged a glance.

"She still swear like a trooper to anyone that ain't a priest?" Connor took on an exaggerated and angry Irish female accent. "Git out a'here ya dirty little fuckers." Murphy continued although his accent wasn't quite so exaggerated. "Touch me brach again with yer filthy fingers and I'll slice yer nuts off." Connor continued in a posher, kinder sounding brogue "Oh, there ya are Father, would ya like a nice cup of tea?"

Sibeal smiled "That'd be the same Mrs O'Hanlon yes. Although as I recollect you weren't so innocent yerself boys. Always stealing her cake whenever you came over."

Connor smirked, "Well our ma didn't make cake, too sinful or somethin, so it were just a bit too much temptation for the flesh. Don't worry though Father, we confessed it."

"I should hope you did lad, frightening a sweet old lady like that." Sibeal said teasingly.

Noah broke into the reminiscing. "Murph, since you made the food will you say grace over it." Murph nodded and remained silent for a second whilst the other men put their hands together, it was as if he was searching for the right words.

"Dear Lord, thank you for the food before us, for reuniting us as a family and for the freedom we currently have to enjoy each other and all your blessings, Amen."

Connor, sitting next to Murphy as always, pressed his shoulder harder into his brother's and left it there.

"Amen" Sibeal patted Murphy on the back of the shoulder. "We should get you to do that more often."

Noah felt conscious once again of having missed something, having missed everything really. That feeling had grown over the two days that Sibeal had lived with them. He noted their easy relationship and their gentle joking; the gentle teasing that never edged over the border into disrespect. It reminded him of his relationship with his own father, Jacob and it hurt him to acknowledge that he had no such relationship with them yet, not even with Murphy really. 

He had been aware for some time now that the boys addressed Sibeal more formally as Father rather than uncle but he suspected that came from Annabelle as she would have brought them up to show strict respect to a priest at all times even if that priest did happen to be their uncle. That suddenly made him think about another piece of information he didn't know.

"Did ye take them for confirmation lessons Sibeal?" Sibeal looked up slightly surprised at the abrupt change of topic.

"No lad, that was Father Kinney. Did I not tell you that the time you gave me the rosaries?"

"Ye may have done. I tried to keep hold of every nugget of information that ye gave me in there but sometimes it was hard. I couldn't always write stuff down you see. If the food wasn't regular or edible or I'd been too long in solitary I'd forget things."

"Aye brother, I can imagine."

"Did you give us our rosaries da?" asked Murphy in a quiet voice.

Noah looked down at his plate, his voice when he used it felt rusty. He hadn't meant to draw attention to himself and he didn't want to open up the can of worms that was coming. The boys mostly respected his silence on Hoag and their years apart and rarely pressed him for information."I made 'em. Took me two years to do em both but they were supposed to be a copy of the rosary my father had. I had a clear picture of it in my mind but they'd taken my one away, worried ya gonna hang yerself with it or some shite, so I couldn't copy that. Gave it back to me when I got back out."

"They're beautiful da." Murphy said softly.

"Da, I ain't criticising ye or trying to disrespect ye but why didn't ye want us to know the rosaries were from ye or that ye were even alive?" Connor's voice was also soft much softer than the usual tone he carried when speaking to his father. Noah looked directly into his eyes and held his gaze.

"Well because I was a dead man walking at that time, there was a long time, when I first went in there that I didn't think I'd make it to the end of the week. What was the point of you knowing that I was living like that? I didn't want ye to have anything to do with it. You were clever boys , you'd have worked it out if Sibeal hadda let on that he knew where I was. "

Connor and Murphy exchanged glances .

"I'm sorry if that's a problem for ye both but that's the decision I took back then and I can't change it now." Noah added rather tersely.

Connor nodded and Murphy said "We knew ye had yer reasons da."

"Is that a problem for you Connor?"

Connor paused for a second and said slowly. "No, da." There it was again the damn squeeze in his veins. He who had been like an island for decades suddenly feeling more than he ever thought he would again. He wasn't sure if he liked it. He turned to his brother who was grinning like a nutter.

"Tell us about this Cardinal ye want us to meet then Sibeal?"


	4. The Cardinal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sibeal takes the Saints to meet Cardinal O'Connor. The problem is the Cardinal turns out to be a religious fanatic and demands that the Saints kill not just murderers, drug-dealers and rapists but also all homosexuals and adulterers. This doesn't sit well with our boys but they are surprised to find that their father is furious with the notion of condemning people because of who they love. He follows a very different brand of Christianity to the one their mother advocated. This gets Murphy thinking about what he would like to do with the short amount of time remaining to him.

"What the fuck was that? I mean honestly Sibeal, what the hell? Like lambs to the fucking slaughter." Murphy flinched slightly, he had become accustomed to his father generally being soft-spoken and rarely swearing. In the close confines of the car his anger and fear was almost overpowering. Murphy wasn't sure exactly what the meeting this evening meant for them but if his father was this scared it was nothing good. 

"I don't know brother. I really don't understand. He's been vouched for by a number of people I trust and . . "

The Old Man held his hand up, accustomed to being obeyed as always. "Alright we'll get into that later if we have that luxury."  
He turned to Connor who was driving the car they had "borrowed" earlier before they went to meet with the Cardinal. 

"Connor take a left here and then drive slowly down for about 200 yards and do a right at the last minute and don't fucking indicate."

It carried on like that for at least 45 mins with Connor having a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel and following their father's terse instructions. Murph sat in the back with his uncle. He only had one 92FS in his coat (he not gone tooled up out of respect for the Cardinal that they had been going to see) and he felt very vulnerable. He prayed silently and was pretty sure his uncle was doing the same thing. 

"Ok, this is as good as its gunna get. Connor, carry straight on and pull over when we get to Fells Point. Ye'll need to liberate another car, get into it and drive slowly round the area. First sign of trouble, Feds, whatever, get out, get Sibeal out and go to that address I told you. Murphy and I'll run to the flat, get the guns and yer bags. We'll try to circle back with you but if there's trouble we'll ditch you and go the hideout. Is yer bag packed Sibeal?"

"Aye."

"Ye understand what this means deartháir? We've gotta get you on a boat to Ireland as soon as we can. The Feds'll be watching over the airports as soon as yer man the cardinal tips them off as to yer name. Ye should be alright once ye get to Ireland. I don't think they'll extradite a priest just for knowing us. I have to get the boys to safety first and I'll need a day or two but I'll sort it brother I promise."

"I know ye will deartháir but I don't think its going to pan out that way. "

"Whatever way it pans out we need to get away now. I don't trust anyone that speaks of killing so lightly." Connor started to slow down as they approached the edge of Fells Point. "Alright son, let us out here, no fast driving, nothing to draw attention and, the first sign of trouble you leg it with yer uncle." Connor didn't answer. Murphy couldn't see his brother's face but knew, without looking, that he was debating arguing with their father. Il Duce was having none of it. "Connor, I said is that clear?"

Connor jerked his head. "Aye, that's clear. Come back safe."

 

Il Duce's face softened briefly. "Don't worry about me son, first sign of trouble and I'll pull this one in front of me so he gets shot first." He touched Murphy's shoulder gently. Murphy knew that it was his father's way of trying to reassure Connor that he'd look after his brother. Connor was completely pale - Murphy understood; the idea of being separated in the midst of such danger was anathema to both of them. They hated being separated even to go down the road for some fags, but now, in the middle of possible exposure it was too much. They'd always faced danger down together although Murphy had known their luck probably wouldn't last. He grabbed his brother's shoulder from behind, trying to convey everything with one squeeze when his father opened the door of the car.

"Sibeal, trust Connor and do as he says. He's a good lad."

"I know he is brother." At that Murphy stepped out of the slowing car a second after his father.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

His lungs were bursting and somewhere in the back of his head he thought how he should cut down on the cigarettes if he managed to make it out of this situation. His Da was in front of him and it didn't sound like he was puffed at all, just grimly determined. They crouched down low as they approached their apartment.

 

Noah fingered the doorframe "Someone's been in here? In fact they're still in there." His father quickly drew his gun and Murphy followed suit with his beretta. Before Murphy had a chance to register the comment Noah was kicking the door down and walking into the apartment. 

"Yer Eminence." Noah just stood there with his gun pointing at the unarmed priest. Murphy quickly ran through the rest of the apartment.

"He's alone, Da."

Noah stayed quiet and considered the elderly man before him. The old man sank to his knees elegantly, as if he was accustomed to kneeling which Murphy supposed he was. He addressed the sky. "Forgive me father, I should not have tested you." Then addressing Noah and Murphy "I just had to know, to be sure you were the real thing."

"What do ye mean ye were testing us?"

"I just had to be sure you were on a mission from God just to kill murderers, rapists and child abusers and not some crazed catholic vigilantes. I couldn't risk putting my lot in with indiscriminate murderers. You convinced me though with your views, in fact" the cardinal looked at Noah, "they were very emphatically put."

Turning to Murphy the elderly Cardinal walked forward on his knees a few paces and grabbed the young man's sleeve. "I've waited all my life son for a sign and there you are so fresh, so young, so sure in what you are doing. Its like an oasis in the desert."

"Get yer fuckin hands off him." Noah moved forward and pushed the priest away from Murphy. Murphy felt like he was moving through treacle, the adrenaline of the run following what they had thought was their last moments as free men to this strange priest in their flat and underpinning every moment was his desperation to get back to his brother. "Are you alright son?" Noah's soft query penetrated the fog and Murphy gave him a quick nod.

"Ye're coming with us yer Emminence."

Murphy wasn't at all sure it was wise to take this large, colourful cardinal with all his flowing robes through the streets and to their getaway car but he wasn't sure what else they should do with him at this precise moment so he followed as his father led the cardinal out to where Connor was driving around slowly trying to find them. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Connor drove around the outskirts of Baltimore slowly in the stolen car for about an hour whilst a heated conversation took place between the cardinal, Noah and Sibeal (who to be frank seemed as angry as Noah). Connor being Connor of course couldn't leave it without adding his two pen'orth as well. Murphy had kept silent during the conversation. He'd pretty quickly understood the cardinal's plan which was to check that the saints weren't bloodthirsty vigilantes who'd kill anyone other than the truly wicked by trying to persuade them to kill all the homosexuals and adulterers as well as murderers and rapists. It was a risky plan given that it involved pissing off Il Duce; however, Murphy had participated in stupider plans courtesy of Connor so he didn't really feel he had any room to talk. 

Murphy was sitting in the back of the car with the cardinal in the centre and his father on the other side. He had begun to get fidgety after about 15 minutes trapped in the car and the urge to move was unbearable now. All of his cigarettes had been smoked to their nub in the first 20 minutes of the long ride and he was desperate for more. Il Duce had reached over and taken Connor's packet and given it to his younger son but they also hadn't lasted long. Murphy didn't think the older men in the car would appreciate it if he asked if they could pull over to get him some more smokes. His Da had tried to help him keep his hands occupied by asking him to check first one then another of the guns he carried. That had taken all of 7 minutes. Then he had started playing with his lighter turning up the flame and flicking it on, wafting his hand through the flame. He could feel the cardinal next to him staring at what he was doing; in fact, the cardinal seemed to stare at him on or off for the whole journey. He was a bit worried that the older man would try to touch him again; he was wound as tight as a bowstring and wasn't sure he could control his tongue right now but didn't particularly want to be disrespectful to a priest even a stupid one. 

He flicked the lighter on again and suddenly his father reached out his big hand and laid it over his hand holding the lighter, effectively stopping his activity.

"Ye'll hurt yerself"

"Mebbe but I don't think its my lighter's gunna kill me." It was almost a challenge.

"No, its gunna be me if you don't stop." The words were harsh but his father was smiling directly at him and he left his hand over Murphy's own for some minutes. It was somewhat awkward for the rather large cardinal trapped in the middle of them effectively pinned to his seat by Il Duce's muscular arm. The touch wasn't unwelcome at all even though it kept his hands confined; indeed, Murphy noticed that sometimes when his father made physical contact with him now it calmed him, made him forget briefly his ever present fear of the death or capture of his brother. The only other person who could calm him with a touch was Connor.

"What do you think Murphy?" His father cut off something Connor had been saying.

He was somewhat surprised to be asked for his opinion on what happened. Typically Connor spoke for both of them and Il Duce made the decisions. He looked up briefly at his father and the cardinal.

"I trust him. Plan's too fucking stupid to be made up. Reckon we should get out of this car soon though, owners probably already reported it stolen."

"Okay son, you think we can risk going back to the flat?" He couldn't deny the little leap in his chest at being listened to and then asked his opinion for a second time.

"Yes da, reckon if he was going to tip off the Feds he'd a done it by now. He's known where we live for a couple of days, since Father Sibeal flew over."

Noah nodded and directed Connor to drive back to their flat taking the Cardinal with them.


	5. The Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chance for Murphy and Connor to catch up and the answer to an important question

They had excused themselves as soon as was reasonable. Sibeal obviously felt that there was lots to talk about re what the catholic church could do to support the Saints; however, Murphy knew that the older men could resolve all of that, he just wanted to be alone with his brother. They shared a twin-bedded room in this flat which felt strange as they had become accustomed to sharing a single bed over the past 8 months. Il Duce usually rented single motel rooms for the three of them and most motel rooms had a maximum of two beds. At first their father had suggested that they all take turns at sleeping on the floor but, even before the vision from God, Murphy hadn't been keen on letting someone so much older than him sleep on the floor so he had just hopped in bed with his brother. If the older man had found it strange for two grown men to share a bed he had never commented on it, not even on the mornings he must have woken to find them tangled around each other with limbs interlocking.

Connor sat with his back against his propped up pillows and his long legs outstretched in front of him. Murphy just stood at the closed door to the bedroom and looked at him for a minute a million thoughts processing through his head. 

"What?"

"What d'ye think Da meant just then Conn when he said to Cardinal O'Connor that we wouldn't want it." Connor looked thoughtful for a second.

"Don't worry about it Murph. I think that the good Cardinal thinks we're God-touched. He kept getting up every time that we stood up, it was more obvious as you were up and down like a jack in the box as usual and he's an elderly man."

"Yeh why was that? And why did Da keep saying please sit."

"Ye remember Ma's rules about standing up when Fr. Kinney came into the room and not sitting down till he invited ye?"

"Yeh," well at least he thought he did, his mother had had so many fucking rules about how to behave and he had always seemed to be on the sharp end for forgetting them. 

"Well I asked Fr. Sibeal about it years ago and he told me that it was old-fashioned etiquette re a priest and a bishop etc etc. Apparently in certain circles in the church you have to stand up when a higher priest comes along and not sit until he invites you. Everyone has to do it apparently even royalty."

Murphy thought for a second. "Ok, I get that but why was he doing that to us, we ain't priests."

"I think he was trying to show that he felt we were further up the hierarchy than him. Saints perhaps."

"But that's just fuckin' stupid." Murphy kicked the flower-covered wall in frustration. 

"You won't get any arguments from me there boy and he was pissing Da off no end either."

"I fuckin' hate being called The Saints." Murphy kicked the wall again to emphasise his point.

"Aye, its stupid."

"Its fuckin' disrespectful." Kick.

"And that." Connor gave him another amused look. Connor always enjoyed it when he went on a bit of a rant like this and he was definitely in the mood right now. "You carry on kicking the wall and Da'll be in."

Murphy shrugged and tugged his boots off walking towards the end of Connor's bed with the intention of sitting down.

"Take me boots off for me would you Murph."

"What the fuck, take yer own boots off yer lazy fucker." Murphy said but there was no heat in his voice.

Connor smirked "Yer nearer and I'm tired." Murphy gave him a hard look but complied grumbling lightly under his breath. When Connor's boots were off Murphy chucked them over to the corner of the room with his own. Murphy ignored his brother's smirk as he couldn't stop his mind from focusing on the scene earlier in the day where the cardinal had insisted that they should extend their operation to slaughter homosexuals and adulterers. He quoted Leviticus in support of his viewpoint. He recalled Fr Sibeal arguing with the Cardinal about the accuracy of the translation of certain passages of the Bible and how such views were incompatible with Jesus' teachings of mercy and love.

Murphy had sort of zoned out as the two priests had heatedly quoted the scriptures at each other. He'd been forced to sit through several similar rants growing up, He knew that he had no intention of killing anyone because of their sexual orientation no matter what this priest said; however, it would be awkward if his Da agreed with the Cardinal about homosexuality as he did have a clear instruction straight from God to follow his father's guidance. He had never really understood his mother's hatred of homosexuality or sex of any kind outside of marriage; indeed he found it safest not to think about religion together with sexuality or sex at all as it all seemed to be such a minefield of sin even his time alone with his own hand was a mortal sin according to pretty much every priest he had ever spoken to. He was usually successful in blocking out the memories of his mother's wrath when she had caught his 15 year old self masturbating alone in his room. He had been dragged to the church by his ear and been forced firstly to confess his sins, then to endure several embarrassing lectures from Fr. Kinney and then months of extra chores and copying extracts from the Bible by way of punishment. He wondered how much worse it would have been had she known that he sometimes masturbated to the thoughts of other men.

Il Duce, who was the one who would be making the decisions about who they hit however much Fr. Sibeal talked, had been very quiet from the moment that the cardinal started his rant on homosexuality; however, once the cardinal ramped it up to talk directly to Murphy and Connor about "ridding the world of abominations in order to obtain God's grace" Noah entered the fray. To Murphy, who had always felt his father was "God-touched", it seemed as if Il Duce was channelling the wrath of God directly when he spoke in a booming voice so different to his usual soft lilt to tell the cardinal "How dare ye? How dare ye stand here, in God's house and speak of murdering innocents. How dare ye speak of God's grace when wickedness towards your fellow man flows from your tongue. Yer supposed to be a priest, yer hands are anointed and have the power to give absolution and benediction, to call the host for mass. How dare ye whisper your poison at my sons. The God that I know from me prayers loves all and doesn't care what a man does with his dick providing he isn't hurting anyone."

There had been a lot of adrenaline at the time as they had left the Cardinal's palace pretty quickly, convinced that he was going to call the Feds so Murphy had not had much chance to think about Il Duce's words until now.

"Hey Conn. Y'know when Da and the Cardinal were having a fight earlier, d'ye hear Da say that stuff about God not caring what men do with their dicks provided that they don't hurt people with them."

"Yeh, I couldn't help but hear it Murph, he said it pretty loud. My ears are still ringing with all the how dare yes." Connor grinned.

"D'ye think he meant that?"

"Yeh, I reckon. He don't speak that much and when he does he usually means what he says. Besides I don't think strict catholic rules on sex bother him much. He didn't seem to mind that time a few months ago when he thought you might be going home with a girl. Ma would have had a fit. "

Murphy was taken aback by his brother's assertion. He didn't remember going near a girl. "What girl? What are ye fucking talking about?"

"Was a coupla months ago. Town called Carreras. We were only there a few days, following up a lead on the Russian mob. We were in a bar and you started getting friendly with a blonde. Il Duce wanted to go and he told me to tell you that he'd see ya in the morning if ye were staying with that lass and not to be late. He didn't seem disapproving or annoyed just sort of matter of fact. It surprised me because I thought he'd be more like . ."

"Ma?" Murphy breathed. Connor just nodded in reply.

"I don't remember that." Murph moved to sit on the opposite end of the bed to Connor. 

"I didn't bother telling ye as I knew ye wouldn't be going home with that lass." 

"So ye think he wouldn't mind if we just went off with some girl one night?"

"Provided it didn't interfere with the job or cost too much, no I don't think he'd care."

"Ye don't think he minds about people being gay either," Murphy picked at the bedcover. "people like Smecker."

"Seems to get on alright with Smecker. Never said anything."

"Why d'ye think they got together Conn? I mean Ma and Da? They seem pretty different. I always thought growing up he'd be a male version of her, but he ain't. He's different, softer somehow." Connor smirked, seemingly still amused by the whole conversation.

"Il Duce softer than our ma? Tell that to the hundreds of people he's killed and all the hard cons who piss their pants when he comes near."

"Ye know what I mean Conn, softer and kinder about everyday stuff."

"I don't really know. He's definitely more worldly." Murphy brought his legs up on the bed and covered Connor's socked feet with his own. He laid back on the bed looking up at the ceiling.

"D'ye really not know after 8 months together all the time?"

"He ain't exactly easy to get to know Murph. I know he's saved your life and mine more times than I can count already and that means a lot. Its just I don't know what he thinks about everyday stuff, away from the calling." Murphy decided to move away from this subject as he knew it pissed Connor off to talk about how he felt about their Da and he didn't want to sour the mood when this was the first time he had been alone with his brother all day.

"If he's right Conn, that means it wouldn't be a sin if you fucked someone down the pub. A girl or someone who wanted to with no strings."

"Aye," Connor looked amused. Murphy was curious although he was pretty sure what the answer would be. The last time Connor had fucked someone to his knowledge they were 19, just before they left Ireland. 

"Well would you then, Conn? Do it again I mean, if it weren't a sin?"

"Nah."

"Why not?"

"I dunno Murph. I just don't really feel like it, you know, with someone I don't know. I ain't gunna say never but I just don't think about it much. Why are you asking? Would you?"

"Maybe. Just wondered if we should really try it again before we die or get locked-up forever. " Connor shuffled down the bed so he was laying flat and laid his legs over his brother's waist. 

"Who would ye do it with if ye could then?" Connor sounded contemplative.

"I dunno. Anyone took my fancy I suppose. Don't see enough people these days to have much choice. Could go looking though but I wouldn't want to do it on my own."

"I could come with ye. We could get some money off the Old Man and go out for the night. Somethin' happens it happens. Sure he wouldn't mind giving us the money, its not like we're doing it all the time. "

"Aye, I don't think he'd mind." Murphy sat up and crawled down the bed so that he was lying at the same end as Connor. "Where, where d'ye think we should do it."

"Well I guess a hotel or somewhere. There's places that ye can pay by the hour."

"Would you come with me?"

"To the hotel? What you want me to fuck her for you as well?" Murphy knew that no matter how disgusted Connor sounded it was just his brother's way of processing exactly what Murphy wanted. Connor would be up for it, Connor was always up for everything, well at least everything Murphy wanted to do. 

"I wouldn't mind. I mean you as well as me not instead of me." Connor looked at his brother. "Christ Murph, how long you been thinking about this?"

"Just since this afternoon. When I had to leave you in the car to go with Il Duce, it struck me that it could be the last time I ever saw you, well except at our trial. Da seemed really scared and I nearly lost it thinking about us and all the life I still want us to lead. I know we haven't got long Conn." Connor just looked at him, they never had false denials between them. "But, I dunno, I just want a bit more, a bit more of everything. I want to do things with you we haven't done before. I want to know all about my grandparents. I want to know for sure which one of us was born first. I want to go back to Ireland one more time." He didn't say he wanted to see his ma, although he knew he would if he went there, he spoke to her every week on the phone but there was no point lying to Connor who knew damn well how little Murphy really wanted to see his mother.

"I can sort one of those out for you right now. Can't believe I didn't think of this before." Connor got up, walked to the door of the bedroom and stuck his head out.

"Could we speak to you for a minute please."

There was the muffled noise of Il Duce replying. Murphy, laying on the bed could only hear Connor's side of the conversation.

"Yes . . No sir . . No, just something personal." Connor held the door open as Il Duce strolled through and then shut it after him.

"Is there a problem?" Murphy sat up on the bed and watched his father with implacable blue eyes.

"No, its just Murph and I were talking and we'd like to know something about our birth."

"Yer birth. Can't ye ask yer ma?"

"We tried, but she's not saying." 

"Aye, go on then."

"Which one of us came out first?" Il Duce stared at them for a moment, looking slightly stricken by the question. 

"It was Connor." Connor smirked but Murph knew that it was just for show. They'd both known already, they'd always known.

"Were you there Da?" Suddenly he wanted to know everything about the moment of his birth, the sights, the smells. What had his father felt? Did his mother love him when he was born even if only for that short time?"

"Aye. Not in the room but next door." Noah lapsed into silence and Murphy wanted to scream. Was there a big secret even here? As if sensing his frustration, Noah took in a breath, bracing himself for difficult memories. "They brought you both out to me. First Connor and then a few minutes later Murphy. We didn't know there was 2 babbies although yer Ma was plenty big for just the one bairn. Ye were both tiny though, pink and wrinkly and ye both looked like me a bit. Ye were healthy, happy things, contented little babbies so long as ye were fed and put down to sleep together. It was good, a good time." The older man paused and looked at the ground briefly before looking back up again. "The best time I cain remember. I got a job on a sheep farm in Ireland so I could be near yer Ma. Stayed with you for a year before I had to go back to work in the States."

Noah trailed his hand down the back of Murphy's head, flattening down his hair and then walked towards the door saying "Get some sleep boys, been a tough ol' day. God Bless."

Connor looked over to his brother. "Ye happy now, we're getting started on yer list."

"Aye so we are. So whose gunna ask him if we can go to Ireland?"


	6. Tensions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy inadvertently annoys his father.

Murphy awoke at about 5.30am and disentangled himself from Connor who had ended up wrapped around him in the narrow bed where they had fallen asleep, still clothed, after talking into the early hours about all the things they should try to do and how they were going to convince Il Duce to have a holiday in Ireland. As much as he was growing to care about his father, he couldn't deny it was good to have the chance to just be on his own with his brother. Connor had made him laugh until he cried last night with his increasingly stupid plans to trick Il Duce into heading to Ireland. He really liked staying in this flat in Baltimore and despite the freezing weather he kind of hoped that they might be able to remain here awhile.

It was cold outside of the bed so he shrugged on his pea coat over yesterday's t-shirt and jeans and put his Beretta down the back of his trousers before going to the kitchen. As usual, Il Duce was already up and sat at the small table drinking his first cup of tea and cleaning a pile of guns but Fr. Sibeal slept on in the room the two shared whilst his uncle was visiting.

His father looked up at him and smiled as he came into the room. "Morning son, are you going out?" 

"Nah, just cold."

"Warm enough in bed?"

"Yeh, Connor's like a fucking furnace." His father looked slightly confused for a second and Murphy realised suddenly that he had just made it clear that he had slept in the same single bed as Connor when there were two perfectly good beds in the room. Il Duce however didn't seem to be too phased by the new information and carried on cleaning his guns.

"D'ye want a cup of tea son?"

"Aye but its alright I'll get it Da." Murphy fetched himself some tea and then sat down next to Il Duce and automatically started to help with the cleaning of the guns. They worked together in silence for about 10 minutes. Murphy picked up the last gun and pulled it apart in order to look through its barrel. Noah broke the silence.

"So the Cardinal's gone back. Think he could be useful. Sounds like he can come up with a network of similar-minded priests across the country. Would be extra safe houses, more money, possibly more work."

Murphy continued looking intently at the gun. "Ye trust him?"

"I don't trust anyone outside my family." Murphy thought to himself how similar to Connor his Da sounded then. However, for Connor the definition of family was very narrow indeed and probably just included him and Sibeal. Noah paused for a minute "but I reckon he's telling the truth."

"Was a fucking stupid thing to do. Tell a pack of lies to ya. Dangerous."

Noah blinked. "I don't think I'd hurt a priest."

Murphy looked up sensing a more fragile tone in Noah's voice. "No Da. I didn't think you would hurt 'im. Just he didn't know that. I don't think he thought through the consequences of goading a pack of serial killers."

"Maybe. Yesterday was a tough day. Have a few more grey hairs now. You and yer brother alright."

"Aye." Murphy lit his third cigarette and started to take his own gun apart now he was done with his father's. He could feel rather than see Noah staring intently at the top of his head and just as he was starting to fidget uncomfortable with the scrutiny Noah spoke again.

"Ye ain't got any questions for me about trusting the Cardinal? 'Cos if I've got it wrong we're fucked as is everyone we work with."

Murphy relaxed he was on easy ground here. "Ye ain't got it wrong though. Told ye that yesterday. Plan was too fuckin' stupid to be made up. Had Connor written all over it." He paused a second in contemplation then smirked. "Well it would have done had it involved some rope."

His Da didn't seem completely satisfied with his answer so he continued "'sides, I'm sure Connor'll have a whole raft of questions when he wakes up. No point me doing it now. We don't have to see him again do we Da?"

"Not if you don't want to. Did he give you the creeps?" Murphy nodded once and turned back to his gun. The silence that settled between them afterwards was comfortable. Murphy finished off cleaning his gun and laid it down.

"Da."

"Aye Murph."

"That what you said to the Cardinal about God not caring about y'know. Do ye think that?"

Il Duce looked up at his son, holding eye contact for a few seconds. "About sex outside of marriage?" Murph blushed and nodded taking a deep drag of his cigarette. "I think so. Its only my opinion, I think yer uncle and most priests I know wouldn't agree with me. At the very least I think God would be a lot less worried about that than all the violence, cheating, lying, stealing than goes on in the world. I thought that even before Hoag but having been there it seems to me that getting a little enjoyment, a little happiness without hurting anyone else can't be too wrong. Some men find happiness with women and some with men. Had a close friend before Hoag, Louis. He liked men. Was a catholic. Struggled with his nature a lot. Always seemed such a pointless guilt to me. He weren't hurtin' anyone." 

Murphy tapped out a beat on the table and finished his cigarette as he thought about what his father said. "Ye know that me ma wouldn't agree with ye."

"Aye and my mother wouldn't have agreed with me either although me da would have. Like I said, its only my opinion."

"Me ma would probably have agreed with what the Cardinal originally said last night." Murphy lit another cigarette.

Noah sighed. "I ain't ever going to criticise yer ma Murphy, she brought you up when I couldn't. Can't imagine how hard that was fer her on her own" he took a deep breath "but it may be that her and I would have different opinions on a number of things if we discussed it now. I didn't think much of Fr. Kinny the last time I saw him. He had a harsh brand of Catholicism, too harsh for a simple man like me; didn't seem much love in it. From some things Sibeal has said yer ma and a group of others were of a similar opinion."

"Aye, Shaughnessy, McIlwee, Mrs Hogan, the McCarthys and some others. You were a hero to them, delivering all those sinners. Ye'd be welcomed back to St Peter's with open arms."

"Maybe not if they knew me, I only want to protect those that can't protect themselves not deliver God's morality to people." Noah got up to put the kettle on again. "Are those people the reason you and yer brother left Ireland?"

"No, we steered pretty clear of them anyway. Connor put Shaughnessy in the hospital when we were nineteen; and we weren't welcome at St Peter's or me ma's house after that. Fr. Kinney would have excommunicated us if he had of had the power." Murphy huffed a laugh. "Probably difficult fer ma and we were sorry about that but the man was a dick. We went to live with Ma's brother uncle Raymond fer a while, worked in his pub at night and the factory during the day. Went to Fr. Sibeal's church. Then suddenly Connor and me just felt like we needed to come here. Can't explain it, just a strong feeling so we saved up and got passage on a boat."

Noah came back setting a second cup of tea before them both, the tea was strong and Murphy's was also so sweet the teaspoon could stand up on its own.

"Weren't all bad there Da, lot of good people. Ye ever think about goin' back to see Ma again?" Il Duce stared at his son.

"No. I got a job to do here."

"Yeh, its just you ever thought of a holiday?"

Il Duce's knuckles went white as they tightened around the scalding teacup. He stood up and, just for a second loomed over Murphy before pacing away and around the room. Murphy took a breath, feeling momentarily intimidated, legacy of times in his youth when older, taller men would take aversion to him running his mouth. His father moved quickly away, his pacing quite agitated.

"Ye want to stop what we're doing here? You and yer brother've had enough?" His tone was heated and he almost sounded betrayed.

"No. No da, it ain't that. We're committed to this. Just a break, chance to see home again before, well before something happens. Just for a coupla weeks." Murphy felt a strong compulsion to reassure the older man.

"Connor feel the same?" Murphy just looked at his father. Il Duce nodded curtly "Of course he does."

The light outside was coming up, Noah just got down on the floor of the lounge and started the first 50 press-ups of his morning exercise routine. Every morning for the last eight months Il Duce had done the same and for about the last 3 months Murphy had joined him most mornings and whenever they could they went for a run afterwards. He and Connor had never been ones for exercising before this had all started but then he had never been forced to stay inside for such long periods before. The exercise routine had been pretty punishing to start with but he'd found himself easing into it after a few weeks and now it felt good, found himself relaxing after it. Right now though he wasn't sure if he was welcome in his father's private routine; the old man seemed pretty pissed off with him.

So he chose to watch his father force his body through a gruelling routine for someone his age and wondered at the determination that would push someone to stick to this routine for 25 years trapped in a room even smaller than the motel rooms they regularly shared. His father must have been so determined to stay fit presumably so that he could stay alive in a place like Hoag. Murphy supposed the question was why did he even want to stay alive, it certainly wasn't so that he could relax and spend time with his family. It seemed likely that all the hell Noah pushed himself through was because he had a calling, the same calling as Murphy was supposed to have. Murphy could see why he might be annoyed that his sons want time off after only 8 months when he had been forced to live with it day in and day out for 30+ years. He probably felt they were lazy and feckless, not really committed for even asking. He could tell his father's irritation with him hadn't abated any when he paused mid sit-up to say peremptorily.

"Get yer arse over here if yer coming on a run with me afterwards. We need to get it all done before we head down to the waterfront later, got to get ya a shift on the docks startin' at 9am, watch the containers coming in fer a few days. Boy from the pub said he'd vouch for yer. " 

"Jeez, thanks fer sharin' yer plans fer me day Da." replied Murphy sarcastically and in an undertone before getting up to start his own exercise routine. He supposed that he had agreed that his father would do the planning and he and Connor would follow although the older man did typically give them a bit more information. Not that Murphy usually minded being bossed about by Il Duce since he had come to trust him; he was pretty demanding and he didn't take well to his orders being questioned but his plans were always well thought out (certainly a lot better than Connor's ever were), carefully executed and structured so as to keep him and Connor as safe as possible. This watching the docks would be part of at least 2 weeks worth of surveillance that they would do before they even thought about striking the drug traffickers here. The idea of working on the docks in the freezing cold for cash in hand wasn't exactly appealing but he'd do it if it gave them further information.

Il Duce pulled up from his sit-up position and asked in a hard voice. "Did you say something to me boy?"

There was only one answer to that. "No sir." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

The run hadn't calmed Il Duce down much and his face was thunderous when they arrived home to find Conor and Sibeal still asleep. To be fair, Murphy thought, it was only just past 7am and it had been a late and draining night. The older man started pulling out pans and plates with such a clattering that Murphy was sure that both his uncle and his brother were awake by now. 

"Get yer brother up. We've got to get out to the docks soon after breakfast."

"Is he working a shift at the docks too?" Il Duce looked irritated at the question but it was fair enough to ask Murphy thought.

"No. I need his help to work over some of the smaller players, see if we can't work our way up the foodchain from there. Smecker's intel for Baltimore leaves a lot to be desired. Get im up, now."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Connor was still dead to the world in the bed they had slept in . "Conn, Connor, wake-up." When his brother groaned, he whipped the cover off.

"Go fuck yerself Murph. Its barely light outside."

"Get-up Conn. Da's cooking breakfast and we've got to get to the docks to meet someone. He ain't gunna be patient this morning so ye'd best get moving."

Connor groaned. "He can go fuck 'imself too."

"Yeh, well you can tell him that."

"Alright, alright I'm getting up." Murphy left his brother knowing that he'd move quicker without him there. Sibeal seemed to have been woken up with all the commotion as he was also coming out of the room he'd been sharing with Noah.

"Mornin' Murph."

"Mornin' Father. D'ye want a cuppa."

"Aye that'd be grand lad." Murphy moved towards the kitchenette where his father had a fried breakfast cooking. "Can I help ye Da?"

"Just make the tea" came the curt reply.

"Yessir." Murphy breathed.

The tea seemed to be ready just as Noah plated up the food for four of them and sat down. He sighed looking first at the empty place next to Murphy and then pointedly at Murphy.

"Conn, get yer lazy arse out here. Food's getting cold." Murphy shouted.

They waited about another 30 seconds before Connor appeared.

"Mornin', smells good Da. " Connor slipped into the seat next to Murphy. Noah just stared at him whilst Sibeal offered a short grace over the food. They ate in silence for a few minutes.

"You get rid of the Cardinal then last night?" Connor started seemingly oblivious to the tense atmosphere at the table.

"Aye. And we're still here so I don't think he's planning on calling the Feds on us." Noah spoke in a clipped tone but Murphy noted that this was more words than he had spoken since their discussion this morning. "He could be useful, safe houses in almost every town, money, passage out of the country."

"Aye but do ye trust him?"

"Better to trust no-one. Don't get disappointed then." He stared right at Connor. Sibeal looked up at his brother.

"Is that right Noah? D'ye really think that lad? Pretty miserable existence trusting no-one." Noah just shrugged.

"I'm sure brother that our da wouldn't have agreed with you. He trusted everyone until they proved otherwise." Il Duce looked shaken for a second and then bit back.

"Aye and look where that got him. Dead at 46 with a hammer in the head from a group of local punks." Murphy's grip on his ever-present cigarette tightened so much it snapped in half. ll Duce looked down at his food and then rose to his feet.

"I'm sorry Sibeal, I shouldn't have said that. I'm not feeling myself this morning but I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

Turning to Murphy and Connor he said "We're leaving at 8, be ready." and then stalked off into his bedroom.

It was Sibeal that broke the stunned silence first. "That's not like Noah. Did something happen earlier when you were with him Murph?"

"Aye Murph, what did ya do? Were you running yer mouth again brother." Murphy rarely found himself properly irritated with Connor but this was one such occasion. He knew that Connor wasn't really saying that as a joke as he had told Murph countless times that he had a habit of provoking people by not checking what he was saying. Connor didn't particularly consider it a flaw to his brother's character, to him it was just part of who Murphy was but he enjoyed pointing out that it was Murphy's mouth that got them into the majority of their fights. That there was an element of truth in what Connor said only served to rile Murphy up still further. The thing was he really tried hard not to disrespect his father these days, partly because of the vision from God and partly because he had begun to care for and respect the man.

"No I fucking wasn't brother. Why didn't you get to breakfast on time like I asked you to then maybe he wouldn't have been so wound up."

Connor moved back slightly seemingly taken aback by the ferocity of Murphy's attack.

"Boys. I think there has been enough angry words at the table for one morning."

Connor continued to stare at Murphy with what looked to Murphy like worry. "Aye Father, I'm sorry." Connor's apology came at the same times as Murph's "Sorry Father."

Murphy stood up. "I'm gunna pray."

He heard Sibeal's whispered urge to Connor as he left the room "Go with him lad, I'll sort the kitchen out."


	7. Chapter 7

Praying with Connor plastered so close to his side that it wasn't clear where one started and the other stopped grounded him, cleared his mind of all thoughts but the familiar words of the familiar prayers that he had uttered several times a day since he was a small child. One Our Father bleeding into another and then another and then a Hail Mary and then another until he forgot his name so in communion was he with God's grace. As the familiar ritual ended just before he was due to leave the flat with his father he smiled over at Connor, all rancour forgotten and filled once again with gratitude for the wonderful gift he had been given in his twin, his soul-mate.

Connor, who seemed to still be out of sorts following their altercation earlier, put a reassuring hand on his shoulder "Come on, we'll work on him during the day, sort out whatever this paddy is about. Lets not be late and make it any worse, can't hear any more 'How Dare ye's' today."

Murphy shrugged on his pea coat and then brought his brother in for a hug and kept his arm around him as they left the room. Murphy saw Il Duce waiting for them in the hallway, he hung his head not eager to sense anymore of his father's disappointment. Suddenly he felt like he was 14 again and about to meet his mother's wrath for some perceived transgression and only Connor stood between him and the jaws of the beast. He pushed his shoulder harder against his brother's hard bicep in a plea for help. Connor pushed back in a non-verbal acceptance, an agreement to do all the talking.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

The twins walked so close together down the hallway towards Noah it was hard to tell where one finished and the other started. Connor had that protective look in his eyes that he sometimes got. Not many would understand what that hard look meant but Noah knew well as he experienced pretty much the same feeling continuously when it came to these two.

"Alright there. What's the plan?" Connor's voice was polite, his tone soft as he addressed his father although Noah noticed immediately that the recent "title" of Da had disappeared again.

"Got a shift for Murphy down at the docks this morning. Keeping an eye on the shipping containers and some of our friends on the docks. Getting to know the players and how the system operates. You and me have got to go and see an Irish cop Smecker knows. Works on the harbour rescue team. He should give us a good idea of who the smaller players on the West Side are. We take it from there." 

"What's a guy on the harbour rescue going to know about drug men?"

"Smecker reckons he was on some major crimes taskforce that did good work putting away some pretty nasty drug players. Don't know why he's on the boat now. Problem is there's a lot of FEDs, especially around the docks, investigating this smuggling business. They're not looking for us but don't suppose they'd mind too much if they caught us. Its why Murphy's got to go in on his own without you and he can't be recognisable."

Noah had been acutely aware of the fact that Murphy had not looked at him once during the discussion. He walked up to his younger son partially intending to get a look at him before sending him into the dragon's den, making sure all his tattoos were covered and partially hoping to force him to look up so that he could gauge how he was feeling. His anger had cooled considerably since this morning and he didn't want to send this young man to what could be a dangerous situation with the FEDs with bad feeling between them.

He acted without thinking, going to touch Murphy's hair which had grown considerably longer in the 5 months since the Courtroom shootout. It wasn't the first time he had noticed Murphy flinch at sudden movement but the ferocity of the way he jerked back shocked Noah. He could sense Connor so close to both of them bubbling over with fear and protectiveness. However, a punch from his older son was a risk he could take, he'd taken enough punches in his life although he was more cautious these days as they were certainly getting harder to roll with. He couldn't help himself he left his hand where it was and continued with the gentle stroke to the top of his son's head despite the touch possibly being unwelcome at this moment.

"Murphy, Murphy . . . look at me." Noah tried to force the young man to make eye contact. "You know I would never. No matter what you said or did or how pissed off I was. That wouldn't happen."

He wasn't sure if Murphy nodded his head or not, he certainly didn't seem to look up from the floor. "D'ye understand me Murphy?"

"Aye da." The response was bitten out but at least there was a da in there somewhere.

Noah thought it best to carry on with the plan and ignore whatever that little set-to had been about. He purposefully softened his tone. "Ye need to wear a polo neck, son - cover that tattoo. You've got one ain't ye?"   
"Yessir."   
"Alright and put on one of those coats ye got for me and Connor in Seattle boyo." Noah smiled lightly in an attempt to lighten the mood. The mention of the disgusting coats Murphy had bought provoked a response from both boys. Connor gave out a snort and his eyes crinkled up at the corner with mirth and Murphy's head shot up followed by a vehement shake.

"I got my pea-coat."  
"Too recognisable on a dock covered in FEDs."  
"Alright I won't wear a coat, just put a couple of jumpers on."  
"Nah its freezing boy. You'll stick out like a sore thumb without a coat." Noah knew what the problem was but decided to play dumb about it for now. If there was one thing he knew, Murphy was going to wear one of the mulberry coloured coats he had bought for Connor and him recently.  
"But those coats are purple, I'll stick out in that."  
"No, lots of poor people round here, have to wear whatever they get, working on the docks ain't no beauty parade."  
Murphy dropped his head back down into his hands and ground out "But its fucking purple." Il Duce's smile grew even wider.  
"Well I'm sorry purple's not yer colour princess but its all we got and I ain't shelling out for a new one right now besides you obviously thought it was good enough for Connor and me to wear. You bought the bleeding things."  
"Aye da, but that was for a quick trip out in the evening. You want me to wear it in broad daylight for 12 hour shifts with a group of dockers. I'm gunna get eaten alive."  
"Be that as it may you're wearing the coat Murphy."  
Murphy groaned into his hands clearly annoyed but not quite prepared to vent his feelings out loud. It was muffled but Noah definitely heard "go fuck yerself . . . ".  
He snorted amused at Murphy's belligerence and feeling playful. "Did you say something there son?" His son looked up and sighed, clearly admitting defeat for now.  
"Nuthin, sir."  
"Go on then boyo, go and get changed before we're late." He gave Murphy a light push on the shoulder and his son went back into his room. Connor looked very amused by the whole altercation even though he hadn't joined in the teasing of his twin as he would usually do.

Noah chuckled after his younger son had left. "Mulberry-coloured coat, he must have known that would come back on him. As you said we'd find a way to make him wear it." Connor smiled.

"Is that why you put him on the docks rather than me, to get back at him?" Noah looked thoughtful for a minute.

"No. I think this'll be good for him. He's bright, quick-witted, got good ideas. He just relies on you and now me too much to do his thinking for him."

"Not always."

"Aye, when it comes to the job he does. Anyway, he'll do a good job with this I think. He's good with people and pretty observant. It'll help his confidence to be in charge of this. Besides you drew the short straw in Seattle, its his turn to graft a bit." Connor looked away from him then the amusement leaving his face at the mention of Seattle prompting Noah to ask. "You dealt with that, with what went on that night?"

Connor shrugged. "Aye. You plannin' on doing that again."

"Not if I can help it but I'll do what I have to to protect the innocent."

His older son just nodded at that, his expression inscrutable as always. It struck Noah that whereas Murphy was mostly an open-book to him now and had to avoid his gaze if he wanted to hide his feelings, even after 8 months Connor was as hard to read as any man Noah had ever met. It was obvious that he had been disquieted by the events in Seattle; however, he seemed to come round from that straight away when they came to Baltimore. It was rare for Noah to question what he was doing anymore, his scruples when it came to dealing with the wicked were mainly gone; however, he had regretted the treatment of the paedophile, regretted behaving like that in front of his boy.

"You got over whatever got ya nose out of joint this morning." Connor's voice knocked him out of his reverie although he wasn't sure if that was a challenge from his older son or actually concern. He chose to take it as concern.

"No but I'm working on it."


	8. A 12 hour shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah gets Murphy a shift on the docks.

"Aye this is my lad, Murphy. Murphy this is Mr Moore, he's offered to meet with the foreman about giving you a shift."

 

His da didn't sound anything like he usually did. Gone was the air of confidence, the snap of authority that he wielded with every sentence. The Irish brogue was stronger than usual and his voice had an almost desperate tone to it. He really sounded like an immigrant who was trying to ingratiate himself to make a quick buck. As per his da's instructions he kept his head down seemingly shy and stuck out his hand, "Pleased to meet you Mr Moore."

 

"Call me Jim lad. We don't tend to go by Mr much around here." Murphy nodded. He could feel the fat, greasy Mr Moore looking him up and down.

 

"Yer lad been in a fight, Noah?" Well there wasn't much chance of hiding it with his knuckles all busted up and the yellowing remnants of a black eye. He wondered again why Noah hadn't asked Connor to do this rather than him. Connor had come out of the fight the other night relatively unscathed. He wondered what way his father was going to play this off, they wouldn't be offering a shift to someone who'd obviously been in a fight. Murphy knew that scraped knuckles and black eyes didn't go down too well with prospective employers from his experiences looking for work in Boston.

Noah just shook his head. "Aye, it was over at McGinty's the other night. He's a good lad though, usually no trouble. Very out of character but there was a girl involved."

 

"I heard McGinty's got busted up." The greasy Irish docker laughed. "The Irish community in Baltimore is pretty small, word gets around. Heard it was the McCarthy family that you were fighting." Murphy just stared at the ground. "Is that something we should be worried about?" asked Noah, a protective edge coming into his voice.

 

"Only that three of the brothers work on the port - for cash like your boy'll be doing." Noah looked a bit taken aback at this news.

 

"Heard the fight at McGinty's ended in knives."

 

"Knives. You didn't use a knife did you Murph?" His father's grip on his arm grew very tight and for a second he could almost imagine what it would have been like in a different world, where they hadn't been killers but instead ordinary workers, where he had a father that disapproved of using knives and guns or getting into fights in general, maybe a father who'd actually done some bringing up of his children. He channelled what that other Murphy might feel like, might act like.

 

"No da. It was some other fellow I was with. They drew on us and then he drew on them and the fight was over. I swear it."

 

"Yer boy don't look the type Noah to get involved in that kind of violence."

 

"Its not the way we brought him up, no. Just watch out for those McCarthy boys lad, don't go starting anything."

 

"I won't da, just want to do a days work."

 

"You've got a good lad there Noah." The greasy docker threw his arm around Murphy as if he'd known him for years rather than just met him. Murphy was struck with the thought that Noah was right, say the right things, play the shared Irish identity card and this man would be acting like he was a friend of the family rather than someone he'd just met.

 

"That he is Jim."

 

"Come on lad, lets go and see the foreman and get you a days work. You never know, play yer cards right and you might get more than just a day." As the foreman made to lead him away he had to push down a sudden panic at the idea of leaving his father. For safety, his father and his brother had rarely been far from his side for the last 9 months, whilst he had found their presence stifling at times the idea of spending 12 hours away from both of them with no gun in his pocket was terrifying. 

"See you tonight Murph." His father gave him an encouraging look, all signs of earlier rancour seemingly forgotten.

"Aye, see ya later da."

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

He was tired and cold as he trudged up Charles Street towards the bus stop when he saw the welcome sight of his twin brother looking remarkably relaxed in the black sedan they had liberated recently. He smiled and made to get in the passenger seat.

 

"Good day?"

 

"Aye, you?"

 

"Productive. Cop's a peach, got more mouth on him than you." Murphy rested his head back and sighed not sure he wanted to hear any more criticism about his mouth. Connor as always sensed that he had said the wrong thing and changed tack.

 

"Bought ya this." Connor handed his brother a plastic bag. Inside was a dark blue puffer bodywarmer like a lot of the young men on the docks seemed to wear. It was second-hand but it looked a lot warmer than the coat he'd been wearing today and it had the other plus side that it wasn't purple. He knew his brother had chosen it, no one else would have found something that matched his taste so well.

 

"Thanks Conn." Murphy paused. "Il Duce's not pissed off about spending the money is he?"

 

"Nah, it was his idea. Thought he'd paid ya back for getting the Mulberry coats well enough by making ye wear one today. Ye get another shift tomorrow?"

 

"Aye, rest of the week. Saw one of the guys da had in his photos, was unloading a container. I'll point it out when we get back."

 

Connor nodded impressed "Wow that was a productive day."

 

"Aye, I think I can draw most of the docks out for ye from memory too but I'll improve it over the next few days. Boss has got all the casual workers runnin' round all over the dock doing all the work whilst the dockers on the payroll just sit on their arses and get paid twice as much. Still it gave me a chance to see most of the area."

 

"Like that all over ain't it brother? Those that do the work and those that make the money."

 

Murphy just shrugged, he had no idea if it was like that all over, he just knew that he had always had to work damn hard to scrape a living at whatever piece of shit job he had managed to get, well until now that was.

"Seen some pretty sights today over the projects, one hell of a drug problem here. People shooting up in the streets, in front of their kids, stealing, fighting, beatings, whoring. Kids as young as 5 or 6 running drugs in gangs. We could clean up big time round here. Not sure yet how the old man wants to play it but whatever way it goes down its gunna be big. Il Duce wants to go back tonight, with you, work over a couple of the small players find out some info." Murphy groaned.

 

"I got another 12 hour shift tomorrow on a fucking freezin' dock and he wants me to go watch drug dealers tonight."

 

"It was my idea, they're a bit mob-handed, fight to the death everytime down there. Going to be hard to put 'em down just me and 'im. That's what he wanted, sort it out today without ye but if he gets whacked, its harder for 'im to get up at his age. He packs a hard punch but he don't take it so well any more. Whereas ye and me we fight well together. I think he understood what I was saying as he agreed to leave it to tonight, till the three of us are together again."

 

"Was he alright today Conn?" Connor immediately understood what his brother was talking about.

 

"Aye, quiet but bossy, ye know the usual." Murphy felt immediately annoyed on his father's behalf.

 

"Aye Conn, I get it that you can't give our father a chance despite what God says in his commandments about honouring yer father. I just asked ye how my father, that man in there that has saved yer life and mine countless times, was doing."

 

"Alright Murph, was just a joke. He's still a bit quiet but I worked out the problem is about you asking fer a "Holiday", he thinks we ain't committed to what we're doing."

 

"Aye I worked that out Conn."

 

"Think he's gunna say no to Ireland."

 

"Really Conn. I knew that within 1 minute of asking him. The problem is now he's questioning our commitment as well as not letting us go back to Ireland. Why couldn't he just fuckin' say no rather than get all pissy about it?" Connor sighed and thought for a moment.

 

"Maybe he's trying to distance himself from ye again."

 

"Why, why would he want to do that?" Murphy looked perplexed and a little hurt.

 

"Well maybe him going to Hoag was all part of God's plan. Because he didn't know us growing up the normal father/son feelings aren't naturally there and that allows him to be more like a boss or a commanding officer than a father. If we're just soldiers to him then it's easy to get us to follow orders even orders that have us marching to our death. The vision said we had to be God's foot soldiers. If we're all following how it should be, ye shouldn't have even asked for a holiday when there is work to be done. What you want personally isn't relevant. He shouldn't care that you want to go home one last time before ye die. All that matters is God's will. When ye start to have worries and concerns and ask for things for yer own wellbeing or mine, or even his as a person it interferes with getting the job done. He's trying to be that commanding officer. He knows its God's plan for him to be that person. Getting close to ye complicates that especially if ye ask for stuff ye shouldn't have."

 

"That doesn't make sense. God always wants ye to feel. He created us with feelings and desires in his own image. If he wanted fuckin emotionless soldiers he'd of made us robots. It'd be easier that way but it ain't what God wants."

 

"Murph, I think in general you're right but God was pretty clear in our vision what we had to do. It don't leave no room for sentiment."

 

"Ok then Conn. I'll try my hardest to be a cold bastard like ye. Now will ye drive me the fuck home so I can have a fuckin shower before I hav' to go out and beat up drug dealers wit' two cold hard bastards and then I'll put in another 12 hour shift tomorrow on a freezin' dock, then beat up some more drug dealers or maybe a pimp or two and repeat everyday until I die well before I hit thirty." Murphy crossed his arms and settled back with his feet up on the dashboard. Connor looked at him for a second and started up the engine.

 

After about 5 mins, Connor started to indicate to pull into a supermarket. "Murph, we just need to get a coupla bits for Da. D'ye want to go in whilst I stay with the car? I got a list." Murphy started to mutter under his breath something about fuckin' lazy bastard.

 

"Oh and Murph."

 

"What?" His tone was heated, a clear warning sign to anyone that one more push would send him over the edge. Connor looked forward at the road with a serious expression.

 

"Ye need to get some tampax 'cos yer just about to start yer period there." Murphy launched himself at his brother.


	9. Evening entertainment

Murphy reflected that it was difficult to do what his brother said and distance his emotions from his father when he was reminded so regularly how well his father and his brother just got him, better than anyone else ever had or ever could. They'd spent their evening in a place called the projects and leaned on a couple of small players for info. All harmless enough although Murphy knew that he'd never become immune to human misery and the sheer quantity of it here was breathtaking. They'd had the misfortune of witnessing a local drug dealer demand a blow job with menaces from one of the female junkies they'd seen. The scumbag had dragged her into an alley and he'd been rough with her, choking her until there were tears running down her face. The worst of it was the way she was so passive, as if this might be a regular occurrence and something she just had to put up with in order to get her drugs. Murphy thought that the junkie was in her teens although it was difficult to tell as her eyes looked a hundred years old. He'd wanted to kill the man, put a bullet in him. He'd reached for his gun but Connor had grabbed his arm and Il Duce had whispered something about surveillance and blowing the whole operation. He knew that they'd take the same view on him beating the shit out of the arsehole; as usual he complied with their commands but the anger and thirst for vengeance continued to burn in him.

 

"When ye're done with your fuckin' surveillance, he dies." Connor had squeezed his arm then and Il Duce had whispered "Aye lad."

 

About 2 hours and a number of fights later he'd gone to take a piss down a side alley, his knuckles aching and his head hurting, desperate now to get away from this human misery, the absolute dregs of humanity. He came back out and couldn't see Conn and da anywhere at first until after about a minute his father strolled casually out of another side-alley. "Murphy, I need yer help with somethin'." Murphy sighed, how many times had he heard that over the last 8 months. "Follow me, son." As he followed Il Duce into the alleyway he saw his brother with the dealer from earlier, his strong forearm against the scumbag's throat and their bodies pressed so tight together if Murphy hadn't known better he would have said they were embracing. "Come here, come closer son." Il Duce urged. "Need you to do the honours."

 

He reached for his Beretta but felt his father place a restraining hand on his arm. "Nein mein Sohn, zu laut, die Bullen werden wissen wer dem getotet hat. Du kannst mein Messer benutzen." Il Duce passed his knife over. All three were standing close to the rapist now who began to struggle and curse at them. Connor kneed him in the balls and said in his ear. "Shut the fuck up, my father's talking."

 

Il Duce moved very close to Connor and the man he was holding, he grabbed a handful of the man's hair and pulled his head forward with a audible wrench. "Alright Murphy lad, right there at the base of the skull and upwards." Murphy placed the knife where Il Duce indicated. The dealer had gone still held between Connor and Il Duce. "That's right lad, just there but you need a lot of power behind it. If you do it right he'll die quick and there won't be much blood." It was the same tone his Da used to teach him how to make risotto, how to oil down his leather jerkin, soothing, encouraging, praising and it was surreal to hear his father speak in the same way when teaching him how to murder as how to cook. He slammed the knife in hard with a sickening crunch of bone and sinew. It was a hell of a lot harder trying to kill someone with a knife than with a gun.

 

"Atta boy Murph." Connor let the corpse fall gently to the ground. Il Duce quickly placed the pennies and said the prayer. Murphy felt the usual adrenaline rush that came to him after killing. He reached out to touch his brother, grounding himself with the familiar body contact.

 

"Lets go home boys. Murph's got another shift in the morning."

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Il Duce had broached the idea of sleeping but all 3 of them knew that sleep was not something that just happened after killing someone especially up close and personal like they had. Murphy had broken out the whisky as soon as they got back, drinking straight from the bottle which he then passed to Connor. They turned the telly on for a bit but even Connor who had an inexhaustible interest in old films was bored with what was on offer. A card game ran out of steam almost immediately. Murphy suspected that if they'd been alone and Sibeal hadn't been sleeping in the room next door Connor would have made up an excuse to start a fight. 

 

Connor, who had been quite quiet for Connor brought up the state of the slum they had just visited. "Its a hellhole, seems to be no law and order at all other than the punishment beatings provided by the drug gangs."

"Aye son, I may have seen worse but I'm not sure when."

 

"Its the kids running round in it that's so wrong. Being lookout for a drug dealer at 5 or so years old. Parents on crack, mother whoring. What the hell's wrong with this country? Where the fuck is the CPS, the churches, the welfare programmes. Its like those people have been left to the wolves." Connor had a particularly strong protective streak when it came to children.

Murphy felt a strong urge to reassure his brother. "We'll get the bastard drug traffickers Conn, you'll see."

 

"Aye Murph but what difference is it going to make in the end?" His usually upbeat brother sounded despondent. 

 

"Well they'll be dead and the supply of drugs will slow down so less people addicted, less damage to people's lives."

 

"Maybe, but I reckon someone else will just step in or they'll start to sell lower quality drugs, cut with bleach or whatever. There's nothing there to help the people when the drug supply stops. Addicts are still addicts and those little kids that the drug gangs pay at the moment they'll be on the streets with no way to pay for their food. Someone else'll come in somehow, and exploit the people."

 

"Ye saying we shouldn't bother, shouldn't kill the drug kingpins?" Murphy had never really questioned what they were doing since they had had their vision; sure, he'd been scared a number of times and sad when Rocco had died but it had never made him query the logic of bad man = dead man." 

 

"No I ain't saying that Murph. I don't know what I'm saying, maybe I'd just like to kill 'em all."

 

Il Duce took a large puff of his cigar. "Maybe we need to think a bit wider as to what we're doing here. You're right we need to clean up the streets round here because this can't be allowed to carry on, people murdering, raping, beating people up with impunity."

 

Murphy spoke quietly. "We could try to get the church involved I guess, give people some support round there." Il Duce stared at his younger son for a moment. A grin broke out across his face.

 

"That's an excellent idea Murphy. That's exactly what we need to do." He tried not to beam in response to his father's praise.

 

"Aye and we've got the means to get 'em properly involved now we've got the cardinal on side." His brother chimed in.

 

"Aye." Il Duce stood up and paced the short distance around the lounge. "Sibeal could coordinate the whole thing and the cardinal could back 'im. Soup kitchens, rehab programmes, condoms, clean needles, housing subsidies." He pointed to his fingers as he ticked off a mental list. "Can't all come from the catholic church, especially the condoms, we have to get others involved as well. There had to be a reason Sibeal's here, at this time, in this Sodom & Gomorrah. If anyone can persuade people to rally to the cause it's him; he could sell ice to the Eskimos if it involved helping people. You had divine inspiration with that idea son. Everything's pointing towards cleaning the whole thing up. Smecker might even be able to rally the police. Its gunna take a lot of planning. We're going to have to kill a lot of scumbags at all levels to allow Sibeal and his group to make a difference. Going to have to be careful as to who we kill and in what order. I think supply first, then the kingpins, then the foot soldiers and last of all the scumbags on the street." 

 

"That's going to be hundreds of people Da." Even with the intensity of what they were planning Murphy didn't fail to notice that this was the first time Connor had called Il Duce Da since the strange disagreement they had all had this morning.

 

"Aye. Are ye scared?" Il Duce's voice when he asked this was soft, no hint of challenge or disparagement. Connor looked at him for a beat.

"Aye but not for meself."

 

Il Duce nodded. "Me too lad, me too."


End file.
